Lovers, Almost
by formerlyknownasone
Summary: Edward and Bella shared one night together before she left. What Bella didn't expect was for Edward to find her, or for her name and image to appear on the billboards across the country... Over and over again. AU/AH. All Human.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I have a new Twilight fic here. I think it's going to be a multi-chapter short story, centred around Edward and Bella. Okay I know the beginning of the story looks like one-night stand thing, but really it is not. I swear. It's really about Bella and Edward forming an intimate connection.**

**UPDATE: Sorry for the false alarm for all those who favourited this story or put it under alert. There is not new chapter. I repeat, there is no new chapter uploaded. Sorry for the mistake, but I realized upon checking that a small part of the story I have meant to post is missing, so I'm sort of re-posting it. Now, there is an added prologue from both Bella and Edward at the front of the chapter.**

**Enjoy.**

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_Lovers, gratified in each other, I am asking you_

_About us. You hold each other. Where is your proof?_

_-Rainer Maria Rilke, Second Elegy of Duino Elegies_

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_**Prologue, Bella's Perspective**_:

I don't believe in true love_. _

Once upon a time I used to believe in it. But heck, once upon a time I believed in many things, and I have been wrong countless times, and this one isn't any different. There is only one thing I believe in, and that is accepting my fate. When fate tells me something is not meant to be, I take the hint.

So I left.

Alice tells me I act differently now. She tells me it's a very subtle but noticeable change. I laugh, but the laughter does not reach my eyes. I walk, but a sort of listlessness engulfs me. There is an air of slight sorrow about me that she can't exactly pin point, as if I have changed. I shrug it off, or I simply stuff a chip or two in my mouth to fill the silence that will surely ensue.

In a way I know that I am not longer the same as before. I can tell too. And I will never be the same again. Not until my heart starts beating in that pleasant rhythm it experienced only once before.

But I digress. The point is, I don't believe in true love. I cannot believe in true love, especially when reciprocated. Because if I do, this would mean I no longer believe in fate.

If I believe in true love, I would not have moved to Seattle. I would have never left Phoenix with my best friend to take on some job in a foreign city. I would have never left him at all, because I love him from that very moment we met. And still do.

But fate tossed the cards to me in a way I cannot ignore. It was unmistakable—We weren't meant to be.

How else would you explain the fact that I met the love of my life a day before I moved to Seattle? Or the fact that , irony of all irony, he had moved down _from_ Seattle itself?

I love him. But where he goes I am clearly not meant to follow.

* * *

**_Prologue, Edward's Perspective:_**

The bed feels empty without her around.

I can no longer sleep as before, not without the warmth of her body, or the lovely sweet scent that lingers on her skin. No, sleep is no longer restful. How can it be, without her?

Funny thing is, I have only met her for one night. But then again why should it be surprising? I have waited for her my whole life, the whole twenty over years of my existence just to see her. It is only natural that she would occupy such a big part of my life.

And she is gone now. Without a word, or even an explanation.

Fate is cruel and unkind. If it were anything else but those two qualities, I would not feel such pain and agony as I do now.

Does she feel the same pain I do? This is where my feelings contradict each other. A part of me hopes she does, because that would mean that she loves me. But a part of me also wishes to spare her the pain, because I of all people know how torturous it can feel.

I crave her presence, her touch, and I am slowly going crazy without it. I am a broken man.

I miss her. I do. A part of me knows exactly why she left, but a bigger part of me still don't understand it at all. Why was she so afraid to love me? Why was she afraid of me to love her?

I can no longer live without her. But I tell myself it does not matter. I will find her.

I will find her, and then we will have out happily ever after. I just wish it would be sooner. Every day that passes now is meaningless without her in it, and I too am beginning to become afraid. Afraid that she will turn into nothing but an intangible memory.

Fuck fate. We were clearly meant to be. I came all the way from Seattle to Arizona to find my reason for living, and I got my answer: her. That is enough for me, to know that nothing else matters as long as she loves me.

And I know she does.

I love her. And where she goes I will _always _follow.

* * *

Chapter One

_Close your eyes_, she commanded herself. _Close them, and keep them that way._

It was already early morning. She could tell from the way the warmth coming from the direction of the glass window tingled against her bare skin. The silent ticking of a clock nearby made her even more aware that time was passing all too quickly. Seconds turn to minutes.

She tugged the blanket over her again, trying to delay the inevitable. Nights were always too short and fleeting.

Bella willed herself to sleep again, to go back into her previous deep slumber. Yet, a bigger part of her knew it was impossible—she needed, desired and wanted to see _his_ face again. In the end, she succumbed to her weaker side as she knew she would. She was too much of a coward not to.

Her eyelids fluttered open. She didn't need to adjust to the light either—she had been awake for far too long.

The man beside her was too beautiful for words. The bronze hair she had run her fingers through all night were in an orderly disarray now, but the rest of him remained as she remembered him last night: the fine chiseled jaw, high cheekbones, pale skin and face of a Botticelli angel. Even the lavender lids and slight dark eye shadows did nothing to detract his beauty.

He slept peacefully, Bella noticed, with an expression of tranquility on his all too lovely pale face, and his long lithe body spread across the entire length of the mattress in a relaxed position. She liked that. One of his hands was still wrapped loosely around her waist. She took a minute to admire the pure unadulterated form in front of her.

Immediately she almost regretted her decision. Bella breathed in deeply and finally looked away. Now, it would be even harder to let him go. The pain would be worse.

He had been staring at her the whole night. She was out, with Alice and Angela and a few other friends at some mutual acquaintance's party. Bella didn't even want to go in the first place, but her exuberant best friend coerced her to, insisting that it would be a lot of fun. When she did finally did turn up at the party, her so-called friends decided to abandon her and left her alone at the mini-bar. She was sipping her alcohol-laced cocktail and looking around when suddenly their eyes met.

And she was lost. Just like he was.

His emerald green eyes plaintively showed it as he walked towards her. And then he stopped two feet in front of her. And then, after a pause, he took a large step and closed the gap between them.

The stranger now stood centimeters in front of her. She heard his breath catch, and realized she was doing the exact same thing.

_Suddenly_ the exchange became intimate. Bella felt the change in atmosphere, the wild charge of electricity running through the small space around them. She heard him sucking in the air in, and her own heart lost control of itself, beating erratically. It was a rush she felt only two or three times before, only this time it did not stop.

Her heart had started beating to a new rhythm, with a new sensation and meaning to it. It was beating for _him_.

"I am Edward," He told her in a whisper, his lovely eyes smoldering. Something in his husky voice told her he felt the connection too.

"Bella," she replied breathlessly, and continued to stare at the lovely man in front of her.

They didn't need to make witty conversations— there was never the need to. Simply, there wasn't a need to impress each other. She just stood there beside the mini bar and gazed at him. He looked right back at her, refusing to break the eye contact. A form of wordless communication passed between them that night that was so lucid and private that words made it vulgar.

And amazingly, he _understood_.

Somehow they broke the silent conversation in the midst of the loud party. Edward managed to ask her some questions, and she answered them, though sometimes she paused as if hesitant. The bronze-haired man noticed as well, and lifted an eyebrow to ask the silent question.

"I have so many questions for you as well as myself," Bella admitted. "I'm not sure I can answer them." He nodded, empathizing.

She couldn't comprehend. Why did his presence affected her so? How was it that she had fallen in love with this beautiful stranger the moment their eyes met? Were there words to explain the bond and connection between them? And how, she thought with a sudden pang of sadness, could she ever compare to someone so extraordinary, or expect anything in return?

Another spasm of misery hit her as she asked herself the real question: Why did this have to happen now?

She tried to shake off this train of though and turned to Edward, asking him questions this time. He answered them effortlessly. She was surprised at his abandon and forthcoming answers, as if he absolutely trusted her.

"Where did you study?" she had asked. She drank every piece of information about him in, feeling giddy with this nectar.

"University of Washington." He responded. "I moved here to Phoenix a few months ago."

Bella laughed bitterly. The irony was killing her. The timing was impeccably cruel.

"What?" Edward asked, worried.

She looked at him straight in the eye, the pain coursing through her body. This was the answer he needed to hear the most.

"I grew up here my whole life," she said finally, trying to ignore the ache. "And tomorrow, I'm moving to Seattle."

Fate, being the vindictive creature it was, had played the both of them well. She spent the whole twenty three years of her life looking for him here in Arizona while her soul mate was in Seattle. Now, someone flipped the switch. She was going to Seattle when he finally came to Arizona.

They were never meant to crossed paths—it was obvious. She was never meant to reunite with that other missing half that made her whole.

Edward didn't seem to care. Perhaps he didn't felt the same connection as she did. Perhaps she had misunderstood. He just looked at her again, his intense eyes on her.

"Come home with me," he told her simply. Quietly he held out his hand to her.

Bella reacted before she could think. It was her only chance to be whole, even for a while.

"Bring me home," she said, breathing. She slipped her hand into his grasp. The electricity between them intensified at her touch. Their hands fitted perfectly together.

Silently the couple escaped from the loud party. No one noticed them, and they didn't notice them either. They held hands and walked to the road where his silver car was parked. Under the moonlight and weak glow from the streetlamps, Edward looked incandescent.

They held hands through the entire ride to his house, not making eye contact with the other. Edward, she guessed, was concentrating on his driving. She was busy trying to appreciate the way his cool skin felt against hers. His firm grasp was comforting and oddly soothing.

Suddenly Bella heard his melodious voice.

"You felt it, didn't you?" he asked softly. "_That_ connection. _That_ electricity."

"The moment I met you," she answered truthfully. She continued to look ahead of her at the empty streets, afraid that she would start trembling the moment their eyes locked again.

He sighed, satisfied.

"Me too."

He pulled up into a driveway in front of a grey trimmed house and turned off the car engine of his Volvo. Wordlessly he held open the car door for her and took her hand in his again, pulling her to the large wooden front door, where he slipped in the keys and finally turned the doorknob. It opened.

"Welcome home," Edward said as they walked into the house, looking down at Bella with unmistakable passion.

She met his frank gaze and suddenly, she knew what to say. The words to reassure him that she was not drunk or inebriated with alcohol, that she was rationale, that she was intoxicated by his presence. That it was what she wanted.

"I'm home."

His lips were on hers in a second. They were caressing her gently, moving and gliding smoothly with hers. Bella felt the heat flowing through her body from his mouth, and the contact made her respond with even more fervor.

Her heart, amazingly, didn't not increase its pace at the touch of his kiss. How could it? It had been beating at this incredible speed since she met him less than two hours ago. It was _already_ beating for him.

Then all of a sudden it was not enough. It was too slow, and there was this need to go faster and faster. Bella felt his tongue in her mouth, unbridled with lust and love. She kissed him back fervently, trying to convey the same emotions to the man beside her. The warmth, the touch. Everything he did or made her feel intoxicated her, and she was desperately clinging onto his shirt, trying to get even closer to him.

Somehow they ended up in the bedroom without her even realizing. When he finally broke the kiss his green intense eyes met hers again.

"I want you," Edward moaned quietly, emotion deep in his melodious voice. Bella wrapped herself around him, her petite body against his long hard figure.

"As I want you."

One kiss, two kiss, and somehow his lips managed to pepper little kiss all over her. Her trembling hands ran all over his body and hard muscles as she fumbled to unbutton his white shirt. It gave way easily, as did the zip of her dress, and his trousers, and that tiny underwear of hers. His body pressed against hers, desperately trying to close any space between them as they landed on the bed. His hands tangled up somewhere in her long hair, and then freed itself to move down her soft skin, from her jawline to the collarbone. He was now all over her, tracing a map of her with his long fingers, caressing every inch of her body and Bella basked in pleasure at every of his touch which light her body with fire. Then he stopped and turned to look at her silently.

"What?" She asked.

"I love you," Edward whispered in her ear, before kissing her slowly on the forehead.

He then tilted his head back slightly, as if to gauge her reaction. Fear marred the handsome features on his face— had been too forward, too fast? Did she feel the same? That perhaps he misread the signals?

He was wrong. And she knew exactly what what to say, because she felt exactly the same way.

"I love you too," Bella said softly, pulling him back to her warm body.

And from then the night went on.

* * *

Bella gazed at Edward again. The way he looked at her last night was… almost in reverence. Now, even unconsciously, he had wrapped his arms around her as if he craved the pressure of her body. He was contented, his angelic face free of any lines. His naked torso was bent as if to complement her shape. Bella only wished she could be the same right now.

Even in retrospect she did not regret what she had done. She _never_ would, she was sure of that. She would never feel sorry sleeping with this angel, or loving him. Last night was the best night of her life, and will forever remain that way.

Just like today will be her worst. Leaving him.

It was painful to think about it. It hurt.

What they experienced last night was beyond special. It was a spiritual connection created by a bond. Bella knew he felt the same. Hopefully though, he didn't feel the same intensity or longing as she did. She didn't want him to in pain—that would be unbearable. He did not deserve it.

Just a second longer, she told herself. She looked at Edward's sleeping form again, trying to take in every detail of his angel face. Every line and indentation of him that made him the person she loved. She wanted this memory—of him, of everything right now—to remain forever clearly in her mind. She would treasure it.

She stared at him for another minute. And then she slipped out of his warm embrace, feeling a twinge in her heart. He looked lonely by his own.

Quickly she gathered the little pile of clothes on the carpet, putting on her shoes and blue evening dress, now wrinkled slightly and tried to smooth it. And then she picked up her neglected purse somewhere on the floor.

She could go now. Heck, she should go now, before Edward wakes up and made this even harder and painful. Bella knew he would try to stop her, like the thoughtful sensitive person he was. But her feet were firmly rooted on the spot, unwilling to move as she gazed at him again.

Clearly she was meant not to be in his world. Why else would he suddenly appear the night before she left for Seattle, after years of waiting for somebody like him? And he had come from Seattle ironically. No, the both of them couldn't exist in the same sphere together.

She was too selfish. Bella knew it the moment the idea went into her head. But because she was only human, only in love, Bella did exactly what she knew would make this worse for him. She undid the clasp from the little silver chain from her neck, and walked back to Edward before leaning down to him

She placed it into one of his outstretched hands. It fell nicely into his palm.

Her only excuse was that she wanted him to carry a part of her. Proof that the soon-to-be forgotten memory was real. That she loved him, and that he loved her back.

Before he forget her.

"Thank you," she said quietly, and kissed him once more.

And then she opened the door and was out of this haunting house, tears streaming down her face. A taxi was waiting lazily along the curb and she quickly flagged it down.

And then she wished for courage to walk out of this world she once lived in, the world that now held the man she loved, the world that she had grown up in her entire life, and go to Seattle.

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**Please review to support this story! Reviews can encourage me to write faster. I believe the second chapter will be uploaded soon, next week review!**

**Cheers,**

**formerlyknownasone**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lol yes I know im supposed to update long ago. But its the thought that counts right?**

**Here it is. Remember to click the review button at the end. And I promise if you do i will share Edward lol. I will leave the Author's note till later**

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**Chapter Two**

Edward quickly shut the engine of his car and walked silently into this unfamiliar, noisy house. The meticulous part of him usually would have checked the address on the white scrap of paper again, but this time he didn't bother. It was obvious this was the house—he could hear the loud blaring of some fast music two streets away. Unless there were two parties in the neighbourhood.

He didn't even want to come here in the first place. But Mike Newton, this guy he met at work, insisted that he partake in the Arizona scene and socialize around a little. So he obliged grudgingly.

As he drove here in the evening he deliberated why he had caved in. Edward had initially assumed it was out of politeness, reasoning that it was probably because he felt the obligation to make new friends as the newcomer in town.

He sighed. That wasn't it.

Something in him told him to come down here tonight. It was just… he felt some kind of a pull to this party. A draw. Like a magnet drawn to another electromagnetic field of attraction.

Weird. And he didn't even like parties.

"Edward!" Someone called his name. He turned.

"Mike," he acknowledged, smiling.

Mike Newton was beaming widely as he walked towards him, a curly-haired brunette in his arms. He was a nice guy, and very friendly. He certainly did his outmost to make Edward feel welcome in Phoenix.

"I'm glad you could make it!" The blond man grinned. He gestured to the giggling girl beside him. "This is Jessica Stanley."

The girl looked at him with animation. "Hi!" She said cheerfully. She seemed nice, albeit a little too giddy.

Edward returned the greeting, before the group settled into a slight silence.

"So why did you come down to Phoenix, Edward?" Jessica asked interestedly, playing a little with the curls of her hair.

Mike jiggled with the music.

"A change of scene," he shrugged. It was the edited version of the truth. He just felt an instinct to come down from Seattle to here. Or rather, something was _leading_ him to Arizona. He just didn't know what.

He paused, wondering how ridiculous that would sound. And of course, it was probably the same instinct that told him to attend the party in the first place.

Stupid instinct.

"Didn't you like Seattle?" Mike enquired, sipping a cup of punch. He offered the rest to his girlfriend, who thanked him.

"It was good." It was home. He loved Seattle—which was why he didn't understand the rash decision he made to some down here. How could he have given up _everything_, his family, his job, his friends, to come down here? "But I thought I could come down here for a while." He finished lamely.

"You would like it here," Jessica assured him with a smile. "Lots of sunshine and sun."

He thanked her, but decided not to tell her he really did preferred the rain. He then excused himself from the happy couple and decided to walk around a little, claiming that he wanted to experience the Phoenix party scene. Mike smiled at this, as if glad his new friend was really opening up to this new climate.

There really wasn't much difference, as far as Edward could tell. Same loud music, lots of bad dancing, and so on. Perhaps a tad drier and hotter than those at Seattle. And of course, the absence of his good friends was noticeable.

But that was about it. A quick glance around confirmed his suspicions.

He was getting restless and thirsty and decidedly in need of some sort of beverage. After asking a few clueless people for direction, he finally got the message through a lot of slurred speeches: look for it yourself.

After five minutes of search he spotted a mini-bar— a woman was standing in front of it. Eagerly he made his way up to the bar, but then suddenly the woman turned slightly, and Edward froze.

She was remarkably beautiful. Breathtaking. From the alabaster skin which looked lovely against the dark blue dress she was wearing to the arch of her back. _Everything _about her was stunning. Right down to the slight tilt of her head.

Her hair was dark and hung below her slender waist, waving out slightly in ripples. Edward watched as she pushed it back slightly behind her ears. He longed to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looks.

And her eyes. Her eyes! They were dark brown and outstanding against her pale complexion. Nobody else had eyes that shade, or as lovely as hers. To describe her as beautiful would hardly do her justice.

She was an angel. No—even angels couldn't be as beautiful as she was.

From the moment he looked at her he realised something changed.

The world started to make sense again. He suddenly understood why he had left Seattle like that, why he knew he had to come here. It wasn't an irrational decision on his part at all. Hardly! _She_ was the reason he had suddenly packed up and traveled across the country. _She_ had been drawing him to Arizona, to come here and meet her. His heart had been telling him all along to come down here and to this party to meet this incredibly gorgeous woman. The love of his life.

She was his reason for living now.

And he knew this the second her eyes suddenly met his, and his heart started to beat to a new rhythm.

* * *

"I am Edward," He told her. Did she understand how he felt? Did she feel it—the way he felt when he looked at her?

Her lovely dark eyes met his. Something in those eyes echoed her answer back at him. The answer that said yes. Yes. Yes Yes Yes. She felt the exact same way.

His heart couldn't stop beating.

"Bella," the girl replied.

_Bella._ The name fit.

* * *

Amazing.

He hadn't slept like that for ages. But damn it felt good. And damn he wanted to feel like that every day. Edward rubbed his eyes sleepily

He didn't immediately open his eyes. Instead Edward chose to listen to the surroundings of his room. It was silent. Good. It meant that lovely angel was still asleep. More time with her. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving her right now.

He had spent the night making love to her, and when she fell asleep, he spent the entire time looking at her, touching her smooth porcelain skin. Admiring her beauty. Trying to believe how incredibly lucky he was. It all seemed so surreal.

Watching her in sleep was one of the most wonderful experiences he had. Her beautiful face had been in peace, completely untainted by distraction and troubles. Sometimes, she would suddenly sigh out his name, as if calling out to him. "Edward," she would whisper out of those lovely lips of hers, her tone lilting and soothing. He loved hearing that.

A lot of little details also came to his notice. How perfectly she fit into his embrace. The way she subconsciously clung to his arm that he had wrapped around her small waist. How perfectly they fitted together. They did belong together.

He was completely in love with her. They could spend the rest of their life in bliss.

Eurphoria. That probably came the closest to describe how he felt like now. He tried not to smile.

It was tempting to spend the day in bed asleep beside this fabulous lovely woman, but the idea of spending the time staring and marvelling at Bella instead was equally alluring. He bit his lip, trying to make a choice.

_Wait._

It was then he noticed that the room was almost too silent. He couldn't make her soft rhythmic breathing anymore, one which he had grown familiar from the night before. He listened even harder, but the melodious sound did not appear. His heart leapt.

Edward was now well aware that how empty his arms felt, as if something was missing. The lack of contact between his and her skin disturbed him. There was something wrong as well—his heart wasn't beating the same way it had last night. It simply returned to its old rhythm and pulsing. Almost as if… she wasn't there.

His eyes snapped open.

Empty. The bed was empty. There was nothing on it except for him and the sheets and the pillows.

He shot up, and looked around. The room was silent and empty. He was alone.

Edward tried not to panic and compose himself. Perhaps she was in the bathroom. Or maybe in the kitchen, making breakfast for the both of them. Or in the living room, reading the newspaper.

Slowly he got off the bed and opened the bedroom door, trying not to care that her clothes and her purse were no longer scattered on the floor. His dark trousers and shirt were still there. He pulled on his discarded boxers.

"Bella?" he called out hesitantly, walking around his house. He peered into the kitchen, but she wasn't there. No one was in the living room.

The bathroom, he realized, was empty.

Bella wasn't here. She was gone.

His heartbeat accelerated again. This time it was harder to calm down. Perhaps, he thought desperately, she had work. Or maybe she left a note.

Shakily Edward searched around the house for any article left behind by her. But there were no paper on the table. No note stuck on the fridge. Nothing at all.

Gone. Without a trace.

He returned to his bedroom and sank onto his knees on the floor, his thoughts in disarray. His legs felt oddly weak, He couldn't believe it.

Where was she? And how could she leave?

He had asked her to stay, didn't he? And she _agreed._

Right?

His brain racked for every possible excuse there was her sudden disappearance. A dead family member, sudden call from work, emergency meeting… But none of them justified the fact that she had not left a note. Clearly she did not want to meet him again.

Five minutes, and nothing came.

Suddenly the phone rang. Edward felt a surge of hope—maybe it was her. He ran eagerly to the phone on his bedside table and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Edward! It's Jasper—"

He hung up. Even the familiar voice of someone from Seattle couldn't comfort him. He couldn't muster the strength to make a conversation with his best friend. The ache was getting worse, much worse, almost to the point that it hurt physically

The pain refused to go away.

Edward refused to believe it was simply a meaningless sort of one-night stand. She did love him, he could tell. He felt the connection last night, and more importantly he knew she felt it too, the same electricity. They were meant to be together, and the moment he laid eyes on her there was pretty much no turning back.

So why the hell did she walk out of the damn door and disappear?

Another million questions flooded him. Was he too forward? Did she feel frighten by that spark between them? Was she afraid?

Bella love him, but didn't she love him enough for forever?

And worst of all, he would never find her again. He didn't even have her number, her address or anything. Only her name, and the honey-and-freesia scent of hers on his pillows. And the memory of last night.

Reluctantly he took in a deep breath, telling himself to focus. He willed himself not to cry, and not give in to the wave of tears and sorrow threatening to give way. No, he couldn't afford to lose his concentration right now, not when he needed it to figure out where Bella was and chase her back.

Only Edward didn't know where she was. No matter, he decided. He would take whatever it takes to find her again. Three months, two years, a decade—whatever it takes.

He closed his eyes and prayed fervently for a sign. That she still loved him enough. That she was somewhere out there.

When he opened his eyes, something shiny on the bed caught his eye.

Desperately he rushed to his bed and picked up the shiny object that caught his eye. He picked it up, examining the tiny paraphernalia.

A silver necklace lay in his hand. Bella's.

It was pretty and slightly worn, probably passed down from her mother. An old fashioned tiny oval locket hung on a thin long chain. The cool metal felt nice against his skin. He popped open the locket. The frame held nothing in it except for an intricately carved inscription.

_Lovers, gratified in each other, I am asking you about us. You hold each other. Where is your proof?_

Rilke.

Instinctively he knew this was his sign. The encouragement he needed. She had left him something so precious—an heirloom practically—with him. Bella wouldn't do there if she didn't love him beyond that one night.

He needed to show her proof. Proof that he beyond all loved her…

The phone rang again, interrupting his reverie. Probably Jasper from Seattle calling again.

Seattle.

"_I grew up here my whole life," she had said silently last night, slight bitterness in her tone "And tomorrow, I'm moving to Seattle." _

His answer. Now he understood.

Bella left him because she was moving to Seattle. She thought they weren't meant to be. That irony and fate were playing with them.

_I'm moving to_ _Seattle_, her lovely soothing voice echoed in his head. _Seattle._

She was there! Edward breathed. In Seattle!

"Hello?" He picked up the phone, slightly dazed. Sure enough Jasper's panicked voice came booming through the phone.

"Edward? Did you just hang up on me? Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm still here," He murmured, playing distractedly with the thin long chain. _Where is your proof?_

"Is everything all right?"

Edward continued to look at the glittering necklace. His heartbeat slowed a little.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. But somehow looking at her necklace she left behind for him made him a lot calmer. And certain.

Bella loved him, and this was her proof.

He heard Jasper asked a question, but he somehow he couldn't hear his faraway voice. His entire mind was absorbed with Bella. Bella and her long dark hair. Bella and her tinkling musical voice. Bella and her brown dark expressive eyes, looking at him.

Silly Bella— shouldn't she know that he love her enough to follow her anywhere?

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked hesitantly.

"Jasper," Edward finally spoke, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm going to back to Seattle. I'm moving back there right now, this moment."

_He was going to find her._

* * *

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in  
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere  
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done  
by only me is your doing, my darling)

- E. E Cummings. I carry your heart with me

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**Okay that's it. I just want to remind you this is not your cliche fic. She is not going to be pregnant (though the idea now seems tempting). **

**And please please please review. I admit-- I am a review whore. And constructive comments do help. I swear if you all start reviewing more, I will be more motivated to write and will update more frequently. **


	3. Chapter 3

**The update... finally.**

**Enjoy Chapter three**!

* * *

Bella strolled through the streets of Seattle, trying to find the exact address of the café she was supposed to meet Alice. In Phoenix it would have been a struggle for her – streets were crowded and the buildings were scattered in an overly complicated way. She often got lost and found herself tip-toeing to peer across the shoulders of the well-tanned Arizonians.

In Seattle it was almost too easy for her to navigate. It was quieter and the tempo of life suited her. It took her less than five minutes to find the café.

She peered into the café as she took off her jacket and attempted to dry her damp hair. Of course Alice wasn't there yet. Not that she expected her to be. She was probably still with her date. Alice Brandon, her best friend since forever, was smitten with some handsome stranger she met at an art gallery.

It was funny. Her sociable friend was usually the one being chased after. While Alice accepted the attention happily most of the time and flirted, she never did return the same regards they apparently have. It was almost unusual to see her friend reciprocating the affections. Certainly not in Phoenix.

Alice declared that it was because she was finally in the right state, where she belonged. She wished Bella felt the same about Seattle.

In truth, Bella did fit in here. In Arizona she was uncomfortable because everyone was tanned and loved the summers. In Seattle she belonged- everybody was pale and seemed to not mind the rain.

Bella loved rain.

But home was not here. It was still in Arizona, where she was constantly hating the sunshine. Where Edward was.

Never had she told Alice what happened the night before they flew from Arizona. What was the point of making her friend suffer so much misery and guilt? She couldn't jolly well change her mind and abandon her new job. Alice wanted to move to Seattle her whole life.

She shook her head and stared out of the window. She didn't want to think about this now. Not when she knew. Knew that Edward used to live here. That he could have possibly sat in this café once, in this exact seat, and looked out the precise window at the grey Seattle sky.

She winced a little. The ache was terrible. It felt almost like a physical pain. As if she lost a part of her somewhere.

For an insane moment Bella prayed for the Arizonian sun she loathed. It was harder to think about anything with the harsh sunlight dazzling. Also well, he was there.

Little rain droplets formed on the glassed window. She willed herself to look at it, to stop thinking and just stare blankly.

_He may have sat in this exact seat once._

Stop it, she told herself. Stop.

If it was only a one night only occurrence, how come she can't stop thinking about him. About his lovely deep voice and laughter, about his dark green eyes.

Even after two months she couldn't stop wondering about him. Had he forgotten about her? About that night? About their connection?

She wondered if she made the right decision to leave Arizona. She wondered how come she was such a coward.

"Bella!"

Alice, her pixie-like friend was skipping merrily to her table, her fashionable short hair cut somehow untouched by the rain. Hell, Bella envied her. She was practically radiating happiness.

She tried her best to greet her friend with the same enthusiasm, but only managed a weak smile.

"Alice."

Her best friend whistled for the waiter. She didn't even bother to pick up the menu. She always knew what she wanted. The brunette found herself wondering why she couldn't be like that.

"Two Americanos. Oh, and a slice of lemon meringue," Alice ordered. The waiter nodded and left the table. She turned back to her best friend, who was blanking staring out of the window.

She cleared her throat slightly. Bella snapped out of her reverie and focused her attention on Alice, who was inspecting her rather inquisitively.

"So," She began, not knowing what to say. Bella racked her brains for a topic, anything that could distract the careful scrutiny of her best friend. "How was your date?" she finally asked.

Alice hesitated slightly, as if unwilling to move on to another topic. But she couldn't help but beam and perk up at the mention of her boyfriend.

"_Amazing_." She sighed happily.

"Is that all you can say?" Bella teased, relieved the distraction tactic had worked.

"No, I can go on all night about it, and you know it. You have known me since… When I was six?"

"True."

"He is amazing. He is sweet and sensitive and best of all he absolutely likes onion-and-sardine sandwich."

Bella smiled. One of her best friend's trademark was her culinary preferences. Alice Brandon had perfect hair and an impeccable fashion style, but her taste in food was weird beyond belief. As kids(and even now sometimes) Bella felt disgusted by some of the horrible concoctions her friend had made. It was truly weird, like one of those eat-it-if-you-dare gameshows. And sardine-and-onion happens to be one of her favourite food.

"Oh yeah?" Alice's new boyfriend sounded wonderful. Charming, doting, and shared the same penchant for horrifying cuisine. He truly was one of a kind.

The waiter appeared and set the two cups of coffee and slice of cake on the table.

"And I wasn't even the one who shoved it down his throat. I was over at his place and was looking for food in his kitchen fridge. Then I saw tins and tins of sardines and I asked him about it. He got all red and went, 'yeah, I like onion-and-sardine on a loaf'. That was when I knew he was the one."

"I am glad. I don't think anyone else would be able to stomach it."

Alice grinned. "I don't want anyone else to be able to stomach it."

Bella felt a pang of sadness hit her. Why was it that Alice could have it easy and meet her future-husband at an art gallery? Why was it that she had to meet Edward at some stupid party the day before she left Arizona for good?

It just wasn't fair.

Edward. She longed for him. The yearning to just see or touch was too great.

She was living like she was dying.

"Bella, I know you are hiding something from me."

She quickly shifted her gaze away from her friend's brown eyes. She played with the sugar packets.

"I am not."

Alice stared at her best friend. Did Bella really think she could fool her?

The best friend had noticed the change in Bella for a time now. She wasn't as happy as before. She was quiet before, but now… She was just withdrawn.

Finally she took a sip of her coffee.

"I have known you my whole life," Alice told her I know that you have been miserable for weeks, months even. I know that when you play with the sugar sachets like that it means you are nervous and hiding something."

Bella remained silent. Alice gave her a ten-second personal space before grabbing her friend's hand.

"I am worried about you. Please Bella, tell me what is going on," Alice pleaded.

"I met someone."

That was not the answer Alice was expecting. She tried to digest this piece of information.

"And that is bad?" She asked slowly.

Bella hesitated. She didn't know what to answer. On one hand it was the happiest moment of her life. On the other hand, if she hadn't met him, she wouldn't be miserable now.

"When I look at him my heart beats in a way it never did," she answered truthfully.

"What happened?"

"I met him at the party the night before we moved here. And I left him the next morning."

Alice's jaws fell open. She couldn't get even more surprised than this.

"And I love him," Bella added quietly.

She did. She truly did, She lost her head and fell in love with someone she will never meet again. It sounded like a Greek tragedy.

"Then why did you move here with me?" Alice demanded. "You should have stayed with him. Or at least, asked him to move here with you."

Bella smiled, but it was a bitter and sorrowful one.

"Because he moved to Arizona from Seattle a few days before we leave Arizona for Seattle…The irony just kills you, doesn't it?"

Alice was silent. Bella dropped the sugar sachet on the table.

"Fate clearly dictated we are not meant to be together," she finally said, her voice barely a hoarse whisper.

"No Bella," Her pixie friend said, slightly excited. "You have never fallen in love before, or so quickly. It must mean he is meant to be with you!"

Bella interrupted. "How can it be that I have to leave the moment I met him? Alice, I think the answer is obvious."

"Oh, Bells. I wish you wouldn't look it at it that way. And he never called you?"

"I never left him a number."

"Why?"

"I though the separation would be much less painful this way. But Alice! I love him!" Bella said, tear drops running down her face. "I love him so much. It isn't less painful at all. All I feel is hurt and pain."

Alice hugged her friend. Bella crumpled into her friend's arms, finally crumbling. It felt slightly comforting. But it was nowhere near Edward's warm embrace.

She couldn't pretend to be happy anymore. She couldn't pretend that he doesn't exist. She could maintain that façade.

"Alice," Bella cried. "I never wanted anything so much in my entire life. And it hurts to be here, to know that he could have sat in this café before, to breathe the same air I am breathing now, to walk down the same streets. It_ fucking_ hurts."

"That's why you were living like zombie these few weeks?" Alice asked her sobbing friend quietly. She felt Bella's tears soaking through her chiffon blouse.

"I wasn't living. I was just… not dead."

Bella took a piece of tissue that Alice had offered her. Not dead. That was an apt description. In a limbo.

"Bella… You need to call him."

"I can't. I don't have his number. Besides, it clearly isn't meant to be."

"Bullshit," Alice snorted slightly. "Look at me."

Bella met her earnest gaze. Alice looked at her seriously.

"You know it isn't a problem getting his number That was just an excuse. You could just easily called up someone in Arizona and asked. You even know where he lives! That isn't a problem at all, and you know it."

"No it isn't," she admitted.

"The problem lied with the fact that you _think_ that you aren't meant to be lovers."

"Isn't it?" she asked wryly.

"No, it isn't. You two are meant to be. You just have to see it in another perpective."

"How can it be meant to be if we have to separate so soon?" Bella asked hollowly.

"Bella, listen to me. You love him. He loves you," her friend said firmly.

"That doesn't matter. I will never see him again."

"I'm not finished," Alice said slightly impatiently. "And more importantly, the two of you met. Fate meant it to be. Fate made you see him out of the thousands in the party Bella. Fate made you meet him before you come to Seattle."

"He could have forgotten about me," Bella whispered, her dark eyes flat.

"Or he could have remembered you. You don't share an experience like that and just forget it."

Bella would like to deny this, but she couldn't. Deep inside she knew this affected him as much as it affected her. That night… It was special.

Alice saw her friend contemplating, and crossed her fingers that she would make the right decision. Bella, she knew, read too much into fate. But then again Bella knew from her parent's unhappy marriage that things can't be forced. Some things are governed by fate.

But she knew also, that if Bella didn't treasure this opportunity, there was a chance she will never be happy again.

She clutched her friend's hand even more tightly.

"Bella, just cherish what you had. Some people go on for years looking for an experience like this and never find it. But you did. That must mean something."

* * *

Bella looked blankly at the scrap of notebook paper in her hand.

Just do it.

Something about what Alice said two weeks ago affected her thoughts._ That must mean something_, her best friend's voice echoed in her head.

Alice was right. She needed to give this one more treasure. She couldn't just let it go like that.

And so, Isabella Swan hesitatingly called her friends from Arizona for help. She surmised that he rented the house from someone and the number was probably listed down in some sort of housing agency. A week later, she found herself scribbling the number of his house down.

And now, she just needed the courage to hear his voice. She willed herself to be strong.

Just do it.

She started to press the key pad slowly and placed the phone up to her ear. A sound of a dial tone was heard at the other end.

Bella held her breath, her heart accelerating a little. She imagined hearing his velvet voice, his soothing laugh. Oh god, she missed it.

"Hello?"

Reality broke into her fantasy. The voice was unfamiliar, a woman's. For a second her mind went wild, a pain shot through her. But she told herself to calm down. The woman's voice sounded too mature. It could be his mother,

"Hello?" said the voice again. Bella quickly replied.

"Hi. I was just wondering… Is Edward around? I need to speak to him." There, it was out now.

"Edward?" The woman asked quizzically. "There is no Edward here. Only me and my husband Ron here."

That puzzled Bella.

"He lived here a few months ago," Bella told her. "But perhaps I got the wrong number."

"Ah," the woman said understandingly. "I think I know who you are talking about. He was the previous tenant, I think."

Previous?

"He has moved away. Rather a quick stay too. I was told he barely stayed her for over a week."

"Do you have his new number?" Bella asked desperately, not caring how she sounded anymore.

"I'm sorry darling. He left without any contact."

"Thank you." Bella mumbled and then quickly hung up.

There was no doubt of it now. Alice's interpretation of fate was totally wrong. They weren't meant to be. And the phone conversation was further proof of that.

She didn't even know where he was now. They had no way of contact with each other. He could have went to Alaska and she won't even know.

Bella's fingers trembled as she dialed the number she knew by heart.

"Hi!" A voice chirped.

"Alice, I need you… He left."

All was truly lost. The tears she knew will come finally came.

* * *

**Yeah okay this chapter totally didn't turn out the way i want it to. But i will try harder next time. And i know i totally a b for not updating so long, and i totally, totally apologise for that. *Grins***

**Judging from experience, readership and review tends to motivate writers a lot... Thats why JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer didnt take fifteen years to publish their book sequels.**

**Is this totally a hint? Hell yeah.**


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